My husband and I are in bed at the end of what felt like a very long day.

We aim for equality every day: equal time working, equal time parenting. Time together. Time apart.

But today it felt like I was holding the world together by myself.

I’m trying to tell him how hard it was, looking for appreciation, looking for a promise that he’ll help me get more me time tomorrow.

He’s not hearing me: He’s defending. He’s explaining. He’s excusing. He’s rationalizing.

I take a deep breath, measure my words, make sure this comes out as an “I statement”:

“I feel unappreciated and alone.”

“Well, you’re choosing to feel those things.”

Clearly, we need some help…

It started when my daughter called her dad a superhero, “because he can erase colored pencils better than either of us.”

It’s true; his erasing powers are unmatched. But if that counts as a superpower, I think I’ve earned my cape as well.

I keep seeing essays with the message that women/moms aren’t superheroes, and I object. To be clear, when I say I’m a superhero, I’m not suggesting any of this comes easy to me. (Hell no.) Instead, I’m suggesting we insist upon being seen as the powerful people we are.

We, as a society, don’t put enough value on emotional labor and other domestic work.

I want to call attention to the unappreciated…

“Sometimes I feel like I’ll never be enough for you,” my husband says, “because I’m just a man.”

“You know I’m happy with monogamy,” I tell him. “You’re enough. You’re the person I chose.”

“But how can I be enough?” We’re spooning under the covers.

“With me, you can’t do everything.”

“Who needs to do everything?”

“I want to do everything.”

“Well, not everything,” I say, pulling his hand to my lips and nibbling his fingers.

“I want to do everything with you.”

I’m pansexual: I’m sexually attracted to people of all sexes and genders. Sometimes I use the word…

A few years back, I read a children’s book about the moon landing to my then-3-year-old daughter. It’s a great book in so many ways. But one thing stood out to me: Men.

Men, men, men. The word men over and over, in glowing terms, and nowhere a mention of anybody else.

The book, Moonshot: The Flight of Apollo 11, written and illustrated by Brian Floca, is a gorgeous, informative read, made to inspire another generation of stargazers. Unlike many dry books on the topic, this one has a gripping narrative. It managed to keep even my 3-year-old engaged.

Still…

It’s time for Black History Month 2021! Let’s aim to teach and celebrate Black history every month, but February is a great reminder to check in.

I read a lot of children’s picture books, because I’m the mom of a 6-year-old, and because I lead weekly storytimes for kids 0–6. Also, I just love children’s books.

Books are inspiration, education, and often conversation starters. It’s tough to talk to little kids about the hard parts of history; like slavery, Jim Crow, and ongoing racism. It’s so tough that many parents attempt to avoid those conversations altogether. …

“But just remember this, you’re stronger, you’re smarter. You’ve got more going than anybody and they try and demean everybody having to do with us and you’re the real people. You’re the people that built this nation.”

That’s a snippet from Donald Trump’s Insurrection Day speech that I haven’t seen others talking about. I mean, yeah, he says harmful stuff all the time, including lots of other impeachable stuff in that particular January 6 speech outside the U.S. Capitol, so it’s hard to let any one line stand out.

“You’re the real people.”

But to me, “You’re the real people”…

Have you voted yet?

The chances are good that you’ve already voted. Turnout is epic this election. In my Washington State county, a whopping 78% of registered voters have already voted by mail and dropbox return. And that’s just as of Friday!

Washington State auto-registers eligible adults, so around here, registered voters is really almost the same thing as voting-eligible adults. Wow!

Here’s how to check if your ballot was counted

If you voted by mail or drop-box, in any state in the US, check your ballot status here: Check Your Ballot.

Mine’s marked as received! How about yours?

If you still need to vote

If you’re still planning to vote by mail, consider sticking that ballot in an…

Want to get Trump out of office, but not sure what you can do besides vote?

Here’s something tangible you can do with the time you usually spend panic-scrolling social media, weighing the probabilities of various civil war scenarios (hey, I do it too).

Write letters to like-minded people in swing states, urging them to vote!

Yes, talk to your friends and family. But right now, I’m talking about writing letters to strangers.

I don’t know about you, but the Electoral College makes my presidential vote pretty worthless. Because I live in a reliably blue state, it doesn’t really matter what I do with my vote. …