Agree. Human Parts just published a short piece of mine about the pressure I faced to choose a relationship with a man.

I think very often people hold a lot of trauma from trying to internally deny attractions they feel. I mean, my assumption for many years was that almost everyone was holding that trauma all the time. This isn’t just a gender issue either. I’ve read some interesting pieces about the confusion and shame people feel because they’re attracted to people who aren’t conventionally attractive — obese, for example. They might try to actively not choose a relationship with someone like that, because culture is pushing them to think they shouldn’t.

Finding someone compatible and making it work with them is hard enough without so many external and internalized societal constraints, so my hope is people will admit their attractions to themselves, and society will continue to get more accepting. But yes, once you’ve found someone you’re attracted to, that doesn’t mean everything’s easy (as you can see from my ongoing interactions with my husband).

Written by

Empathy for the win! Published in Gen, Human Parts, Heated, Tenderly —Feminism, Sexuality, Veganism, Anti-Racism, Parenting. She/They darcyreeder.substack.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store