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Can My Jewish Culture Survive My Intermarriage?
My 5-year-old looks white and doesn’t know what a rabbi is.
I’m reading Tzivia a book about Rosh Hashanah — the Jewish new year — about a community pitching in to help a little girl experience her favorite holiday tradition.
“Max told Abby, who told their teacher, who told the principal, who told the rabbi — ”
“Wait, what’s a rabbi?”
My Jewish 5-year-old doesn’t know what a rabbi is? “Oh, you know…”
Her tilted head shows she really doesn’t know.
“A rabbi is a person who leads a Jewish community.” I struggle to find context to hang my words on. “We don’t have a Jewish community here, but when I was growing up, I did. And we went to Temple, a whole lot of Jews together, and the rabbi would lead the services. And we’d all sing together in Hebrew, and the rabbi would talk and ask us all questions about stuff, like how to be kind.”
She’s satisfied, ready to read the rest of the book. But half my mind is wondering if I’ve already failed my daughter, by marrying a gentile, by moving to a place without a Jewish community. Will I be able to make my culture her culture? On my own, will I ever be enough?
