I am so sorry you’re dealing with this, and your emotions are totally reasonable.
I was very, very lucky to get pregnant quickly when I started trying at age 30, but I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly, so I really wanted to start earlier. My husband (who’s 7 years older than me) could’ve waited forever. When we met, he sounded ready ready ready, but then he said he wouldn’t start trying until we’d bought a house and saved up a huge amount of money.
The two years leading up to getting pregnant we worked ourselves to tears (owning a restaurant) saving up enough money to get to where he was willing to try.
If things hadn’t worked out so well after that (getting pregnant I mean), I would be very, very, very, very angry. ❤