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I’m Not Ashamed to Use Food Stamps, But Trump Wants Me to Be

In a nation as wealthy as the United States, yes, we are ‘entitled’ to a basic standard of living.

Darcy Reeder
4 min readSep 19, 2019
Toddler drops box of crackers into a small yellow shopping cart in a grocery store
Cropped Photo by David Veksler on Unsplash

This morning, I’m snapping my daughter into her car seat to go to kindergarten when she asks, “What does ashamed mean?”

I’ve got to say, it felt like a parenting win that she got to be 5 years old without learning the word shame.

Together, my husband and I explain shame is the opposite of pride. Shame is something others might try to make someone else feel, and also shame is something people can feel inside.

“Generally, shame isn’t something we want anyone to feel,” I say. “Though maybe if somebody really did do something bad, feeling ashamed about it could prompt them to say, ‘I’m sorry.’”

“But, like, let’s say I snap at Mama,” my husband adds. “It’s not shame that’s going to make me say sorry. It’s empathy. I don’t want her to feel bad, so I want to apologize to make it right.”

All of us have something society told us to be ashamed of: what you like, who you love, how you look. For me, I am acutely aware many people believe I should be ashamed our family utilizes government entitlements.

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Darcy Reeder
Darcy Reeder

Written by Darcy Reeder

Empathy for the win! Published in Gen, Human Parts, Heated, Tenderly —Feminism, Sexuality, Veganism, Anti-Racism, Parenting. She/They

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