Thank you for writing this. This is a huge issue in my home: me wanting to make personal body choices (yes! armpit hair!) without it always being about the male gaze in my home, and my husband insisting that our aesthetic body/fashion choices are 24/7 gifts for each other. (Unsurprisingly, the clothes he wears are much comfier than the clothes/shoes/makeup/bras he’d ideally like me to wear.)
I got him to comment way less once he was doing it to our daughter when she was 2, trying to tell her she couldn’t wear pajamas outside the house. That was a huge moment for me, where I made sure the whole dynamic changed.
Nobody talks about this. Really, thank you for writing.